Mark Juniper
Absolute Charming [2020]
- Radiant von Ganse [2024]
- Brutal Couronne [2020]
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This diary is part of Branches, Birches and Junipers, which is set between Spring Unsprung and Way Too Wonderland.
As Simple As Pie[]
My destiny is going to be a piece of pie.
Okay, not really. In fact, it doesn’t even involve pie, unless you look at some strange variation of the tale. But I like pie – it’s delicious and satisfying and it’s the only food I’m good at making and I think it’s hilarious when I carve out the digits of pi in the crust.
And I think it’s a good comparison – my destiny and pie–, because seriously, pie is unpredictable – you don’t know whether it’ll turn out good or horrible–, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and one of the best ways to make pie taste better is to compare it to something else (like brussel sprouts or my uncle’s baking). I’m not sure how awesome my destiny might turn out to be, I’m not entirely sure whether anyone would be happy having my destiny, and my destiny sounds better when you compare it to a sadder fairytale. So, as I said, my destiny is a piece of pie.
Also, you can take pie away from a person, which I really don’t recommend. Before, I never knew that someone can take someone else’s destiny away from them, and it’s just as bad as taking pie away from someone.
I mean, alright, being the next Marlinchen in the Juniper Tree? It’s not nice. But I refuse to have it taken away from me. I mean, what’s wrong with being so accepting of a slightly gruesome fairytale? I have a happy ending, right?
But do I really want to go through so much emotional pain to get there? I mean, seriously dude, it’s a punch in the face. Literally.
The thing is I’ll rather not be Marlinchen, but if someone else was to be the next Marlinchen instead of me, I’m going to fight them. Not literally, because I don’t like violence, but I can’t just passively let someone remove my heritage, right?
Chapter One[]
I had been making paper planes and bad puns with Tenley Rosewood in a free period when my mum called.
“Your uncle’s finally remarrying,” she said. “He just went and got himself engaged.”
“What.” I said. “Mum, don’t call me, I’m in the library right now.”
“Screw the library and its rules about phones and silence,” she replied. I sighed. Mum had always been a rebel when she went to Ever After. “The wedding’s in two months. I’ve already gotten you, Icarus and your Rosewood friends leave from school for two weeks.”
I gasped. “Two months? That’s a little sudden.”
“Well, he’s not going to be inviting his whole orchestra, is he?”
Then she hung up. I knew she was probably busy and most likely didn’t want to look rude, so I said “Love you too, mum, bye,” even though she couldn’t hear me.
Tenley shot me a look of curiosity and confusion. “What was that about?”
I told her everything – Icarus’ dad finally remarrying, leaving school for two weeks in two months. I also threw in a comment about how sudden everything was, to which she nodded solemnly and commented that I worry too much.
I really didn’t want to admit it, but Tenley was right. I get nervous and panic about lots of things – schoolwork, parental expectations, cute people, whether the cat in the pet shop was bored of me or just sleepy…
When you’re blamed for everything that goes wrong in your destiny, when the current events and the world is general is moving too fast for you to handle, you worry.
Amidst all the Royal vs Rebel conflict going on, a wedding sounds nice. I probably need a break from the rest of the world. And I hope there’s pie.
Chapter Two[]
Icarus ran into Tenley and I as soon as lunch started, bubbling with excitement. “I am so glad we’re getting a break!” he said, ruffling our hair as he sat down by the tree I had been sitting under. “Seriously, you two would deserve one. Plus, dad’s fiancée is wonderful and I’m sure you’ll like her.”
“Is that a good thing?” I asked.
“Not entirely sure. What do you think, Mark?”
I defensively waved my hands around. “Icarus! Give me a moment to think, alright?”
Icarus frowned disapprovingly. “My future stepmother sounds nice and sweet. So, I’m not entirely sure if she should be part of our family, and by association, part of the Juniper Tree.”
“So, nice people shouldn’t be part of gory tales?”
“Mark, if that was the case, you wouldn’t be the next Marlinchen!” Icarus groaned, putting his palm to his forehead. “Listen, we’ll talk about this later. You know your soon-to-be-aunt has a daughter right? Our age.”
I rolled my eyes. So what? We were going to be stuck at EAH anyway. It's not like that would matter.
Then, a thought suddenly dawned on me. “Iccy…” I said. “I just kinda realised something…”
“Yeah, I know. Marlinchen’s role is typically fulfilled by the daughter of the brother’s father’s second wife.”
“Always one step ahead, aren’t you?” I said.
He shrugged modestly. “I thought you would be worried,” he said, “But in no way is it a threat to you. I mean, you're here at Ever After High! They’ll have to make you the next Marlinchen!”
Icarus was right. But the thought still tugged at me. If there was someone who would be far better off as a Marlinchen than me, wouldn’t the authorities force them to take my role instead to preserve accuracy?
Chapter Three[]
Once the day of our break arrived, Tenley and Icarus dragged their things outside. The two stood next to each other, their hands almost touching, muttering to each other about things I couldn’t hear properly. I carried Tesla the pigeon’s cage in one arm, and everything else in the other.
Mum’s car pulled up. It screeched to a halt, the doors swung open, and we entered. The car ride wasn’t anything memorable – I sat shotgun, listening to Tenley and Icarus in the back make bad jokes, while idly scrolling through dashboards and new feeds on my phone, looking for something interesting to distract myself from the other two.
Unfortunately, my mother pestered me with questions.
“How’s school?” Mum asked. “How are your grades?”
“They’re good.”
“So, I’ve heard about that Raven girl denying her destiny…” my mother said, looking pensive. “Listen, Mark, if you’re ever going to give up your desti–”
“WHAT?” I shot a look at her, shocked. “Mum, I’m never going to do that. “You know how important the Juniper Tree is to this family!”
She sighed. “Mark, my sweet summer child. Stop worrying about this family’s story and sorry about yourself.”
For the rest of the ride, she drove in silence. I sat there fuming. How could my own mother have so little respect for the Juniper Tree? And she, Marlinchen itself, the main character, refused me to carry on the destiny?
Once we reached my uncle’s house, my mother stopped the car suddenly. Everyone was flung forward. I bit my lower lip in nervousness, and looked out of the car and at the house.
There, standing on the verandah, was the girl who was going to be my cousin in a week and a bit. Faired-skinned, dark brown hair, she looked every inch the Marlinchen you see in the books.
There was no way in nether I’ll ever be able to compete with her.
Chapter Four[]
It’s been five days since our break and two days until the wedding. I was stressed. Do you know how much housework I’ve done? So many chores, so many pies baked, so many trees planted, and so many birds flying into my room, telling me that they’re “concerned for my health” and that I “should get some chill and take a break”. I distracted them with a twitter page for Bird Activists, and every one of my feathered friends proceeded to shut up about my emotional condition.
In the Juniper Tree, Marlinchen is obedient, domestic and tidy. All the qualities my mother never had, and the ones somehow got. If I was to prove that Lea – that was my new cousin’s name – should not be the next Marlinchen, then obviously I had to prove that I would be a better one.
So I did as many things as I could. There was no way I was going to confront Lea, that would be rude. But if I did my chores and did extra chores, then hey, people were going to notice, right?
The birds did. They were concerned about me more than usual. They flew into the kitchen and one day I ended up yelling at them. And even worse, Icarus noticed.
My cousin thought I was being “unreasonable”. I know right? How ignorant was he? I was so not being unreasonable!
“Mark,” he said, entering the kitchen today. “Tenley’s gone out today. And do you know when was the last time you’ve been out? Not once, in this whole week!”
“What, you think I should get out of the kitchen?” I said, defensively. “Because, I dunno, it’s a girls’ zone?”
“No. I’m concerned about your health.”
“No, no, Icarus, stop being concerned. I’m fine. Look at me! I haven’t taken a break all week, and I’ve been the most productive ever! It’s fun!” I grabbed a plate that had been in the microwave and I offered it to him. “Iccy, why don’t you stop caring about gender roles and have some sausage rolls instead?”
Icarus frowned. "Mark," he said. I never heard such coldness in his words before. "Listen to me."
I was really spooked out, and shuddered a little. The plate I carried shattered on the floor. “What is wrong with you?” I asked, in a small voice.
“More like what’s wrong with you,” Icarus stepped forward. “You’re clinging to a horrible destiny, Mark. Why are you so desperate to be the next Marlinchen?”
“What is up with you and accusations today?”
Icarus sighed. I could tell he was regretting this conversation. “Mark, you’re the next Marlinchen. Just because my dad’s remarrying doesn’t mean that would change.”
I bent down to pick up the broken plate pieces, but ended up cutting myself. I cringed. Not just at my hurt hand, but at everything. Icarus’ confrontation, my inner turmoil, and the fact that I probably sucked at being Marlinchen.
“So what?” I said, wiping a bloodstained hand on my apron. “I have to do this! I’m the next Marlinchen! Chores and baking and everything else… I just have to do everything, right? Just to be taken seriously? JUST BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE THE NEXT MARLINCHEN?”
I gasped for breath. Icarus’ concerned expression didn’t change.
“I’m sorry I have a horrible cousin!” I continued. “And I don’t know whether I’m talking about you or Lea, because both of you are so annoying and unhelpful!” I slammed my hand on the bench.
Icarus was uncharacteristically quiet. “Mark,” he said.
“Yeah?”
“Lea just entered the room. And I think she heard you.”
Lea die Birke’s wide blue eyes looked as if they would burst into tears. Her large hands held the book she had been reading in front of herself, as if she was forming a barricade. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Listen, would you want me to help you out with the housework? Beca–”
“No!” I said, completely on impulse and frustration. “Leave me alone with chores! And that applies to you too, Icarus. Please. Go. Away.”
I took a step back, still fuelled on anger, before suddenly, I caught a glimpse of myself in the shiny metal of the electric kettle. I looked mad. My hair was messed up, my face looked as if I hadn’t slept. I had not been behaving (or looking) like a Marlinchen.
I… I screwed up.
Chapter Five[]
It was the day of the wedding. I didn’t notice many things about the wedding, but Icarus made me wear dark gloves so my injured hands wouldn’t show in any of the pictures. Icarus’ father, Macintosh, and Lea’s mother, Lindsay, kissed herself and swore vows on a small platform in the backyard.
My head hurt the whole way through. In fact, everything hurt. My hand, my chest, I didn’t feel right. But I smiled in all the photos and the birds told me that I looked normal. So I thought, everything must be fine, right?
No. It turned out that my head was dizzy for a reason. When food started, Tenley (who was the only one who bothered talking to me after my incident in the kitchen) dragged me to the food table. I suddenly realised the reason why everything hurt was because I was about to faint.
I fell. Awkwardly, ungracefully, terribly. Tenley told me that Icarus leaned forward to catch me, but missed. Lea caught me instead.
I don’t know what happened next, but when I woke up, three hours had passed and the party was still going on. I heard music and dancing and laughter coming from below. I wanted to be there, to join the party, but I didn’t want to embarrass myself again.
My bed sheet was covered in nearby birds. They twittered and tweeted with concern.
Mark, one said. You’re an idiot.
“I know,” I said in reply.
Shut up, Mark, said another. Redhead weirdo and your friend are coming up the stairs now.
Icarus burst into the room, along with Tenley. “I was worried,” he said. “Also, here’s some food. I got you the pie that you baked.”
Trailing after them was the last person I wanted to see. Lea walked in, carrying yet another plate of food.
“I know you’re angry for some reason,” Lea said. “It’s making you act like a total dick now. But you’re not your emotions, so I forgive you.”
I wanted to say that I was sorry, but Icarus and Tenley ushered her out before I could.
I didn’t feel like a Marlinchen. At all.