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Kermit J. Crane is one of the cranes from The Geese and the Cranes by Aesop. He is also an anger management instructor for schools in Ever After.
Character
Appearance
Kermit is a sandhill crane who wears glasses. Sometimes he will also wear a red vest and a brown fedora.
Personality
Kermit is not the type of person you'd expect to see as an anger management instructor. He is known for his passive-aggressive mood swings. He regularly switches between a loud, harsh voice and a soft, effeminate voice.
Kermit is interested in philosophy and meditation. He spent three years studying philosophy in various parts of Asia. He is also fond of bonsai gardening, which he studied in Japan.
Biography
Kermit Joseph Crane was born to a family of cranes in rural Iowa. He spent much of his youth traveling the skies and feeding on farmers' property. One day, while he was on a farm in North Dakota, he and the other cranes fed with some geese. When the birdcatcher came, the cranes flew away, but the geese were caught.
Kermit has a nasty temper, but since he was eight years old, he wanted to teach anger management. How he got certified to do it still vexes people. He works at schools to teach anger management to kids. He changes schools like they were clothes since many schools have a hard time putting up with him. Many people claim he is not fit to be teaching anger management since he is such a drama queen.
Relationships
Family
Kermit is the seventh of nine children of Ralph and Beverly Crane. His father is deceased, but his mother still lives in Iowa. Kermit has many nieces and nephews.
Friends
Kermit's friends are mostly other cranes, but his best friend, Elmedor Grenadier, is human. Elmedor is one of the few people who can tolerate Kermit's ham-handed anger management techniques.
Enemies
It's fair to say that most of the school is enemies with Kermit due to his ham-handed behavior and annoying personality.
Romance
Kermit has had girlfriends in the past, but nothing's ever lasted. He's never been married and doesn't have any kids. He always says that he'll die alone.
Trivia
- Kermit has his own blog where he talks about bonsai trees and anger management.
- One common question he is asked on his blog is how he types without fingers.
- Kermit gets annoyed when people comment on his name being the same as that of Kermit the Frog.
- If he were an official character, he would be voiced by Charlie Adler.